The Worker-Dandyist Manifesto

The Worker-Dandyist Manifesto

1. The Working Class is paramount. Our Dandyism is subordinate to our class. Dandyism outside of the class is of no interest to us. Dandyism without class-consciousness is of no interest to us.
2. We are committed to total social change with the ultimate aim of absolute democracy. There is no blueprint for the New Society so we needn’t get into any pigeon-holing or championing of dead Russians just yet. Suffice to say, we are not vanguardists; we are of the seething, but smartly dressed, masses.
3. Proletarian revolution is not, as enemies of the class insist, about universally lowering living standards to the level we plebs are currently forced to live at. It is about raising our living standards to the highest levels achievable using what earthly resources are available in a responsible and sustainable manner. We refuse to abandon the good things in life to those chinless dolts who have done nothing to assist in their production. We reject the stale crumbs flicked from the rich man’s table. We demand the entire bakery and one day, as sure as eggs is eggs, we will take it.
4. We define our Dandyism, in essence, as simply making as much of an effort as possible with the limited resources available to us.  An effort in sartorial flair, an effort in civility, social responsibility and courtesy, and an effort in communal culture, welfare, leisure and pleasure. Our definition of Dandyism will most certainly conflict with the pompous elitists', conservative traditionalists' and loathsome fascists' definitions of Dandyism. Of course, we embrace and encourage popinjays, peacocks and coxcombs but we shall dispense with the conceitedness and selfishness associated with such terms in favour of consideration and kindness.
5. The Worker-Dandy prefers analogue over digital; phonographs, photographs and films over electronic binary files; undulating waves of mechanical loveliness over harsh, bleak electronic signals. The worker-dandy rejects so-called technological advances dumped on us by dreadful corporations that only serve to cajole the people into consuming ever-worsening quality for the sake of faster and cheaper production. Technology without progress is pointless.
6. The Dandy will seek out what he or she regards as the very best in music, art and film. That is not to say that we affect a yearning for highbrow pursuits; far from it. We simply will not allow ourselves to be bottle-fed shit by talentless, creatively bankrupt moguls. We are not affected one jot by any artificially created charts, polls or ratings and are equally unmoved by profit-driven advertising. Information is what we require to make choices, or, failing that, a coin.
7. Dandyism may be thought of as a bit silly. True enough, it is a little daft, but humans without humour are no fun to be around and fun is, in our book, humanity’s raison d’être.
   Dandyism is not for everyone and may be regarded as superficial by many. We agree: outward appearance is intrinsically superficial but, in the case of Worker-Dandyism, is a reaction against slovenliness, a rejection of the consumption of crap and an outward reflection of a dapper soul. We regard Worker-Dandyism as just one method of achieving greater happiness, friendship and social cohesion within the class.
8. We reject religion and supernaturalism just as a growing child rejects Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy: as nothing but infantile fantasies passed from generation to generation with, in the case of organised religion, the sole purpose of converting the class to fatalistic defeatism and apathy thus avoiding revolutionary desires. People are born atheists, they are converted to simpletons.
   At worst, religion is a force for unmitigated evil directed by a hierarchy of deep-dyed degenerates with no regard for life- human or otherwise.
9. Worker-Dandyism is rational and therefore vehemently opposed to quackery. Pseudo-science is a leech that feeds on humanity both economically and physically. Reflexology, homeopathy, magnet therapy, etc., are all bunk. Snake-oil salesmen have always exploited the gullibility and desperation of the sick for financial ends but, while people are free to dispose of their earnings as they please, when people are discouraged from seeking proven medical treatment in favour of junk remedies  we regard this as tantamount to criminal assault.
10. We are Anti-Fashion. Fashion is irrelevant and arbitrary. Fashion is consumerism, profit and landfill. We do not change our tastes from month to month and do not need to change our wardrobe from season to season -excepting the demands of climate and weather. We appreciate that clothing design mutates, like Chinese whispers, through the ages but quality, style and function are, to a Worker-Dandy and, indeed, to anyone with an ounce of sense, what matters. Wear what you like, not what the High Street or anyone else dictates.
11. Alcohol, when consumed imaginatively, responsibly and regularly, can act as a stimulus to hedonism, carnality and revolt. It should, therefore, be embraced with gusto.
12. The Worker-Dandyist International has no leaders, no structure and no members. A disorganisation of dapper drudges, if you will (though if the diaspora should amass into an active entity, we should be most thrilled). We simply encourage YOU to declare yourself a Worker-Dandy, attempt to live by the spirit of this manifesto and encourage others to do so. Bottoms up!